


you'll feel my fingers down your back

by malskira



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Cursed Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Has Feelings, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Loves Jaskier | Dandelion, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Touch-Starved Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, let them be happy !!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:21:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25694935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malskira/pseuds/malskira
Summary: Ever since he was a kid, Geralt knew he ruined everything he touched. He didn't suspect for it to one day come true.Or;Everyone who touched Geralt died, so Geralt never allowed anyone to do so. Jaskier, however, was never good at listening to the witcher.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 24
Kudos: 339





	you'll feel my fingers down your back

There were many theories as to why Geralt didn't allow anyone to touch him. 

Some were mild, saying that he didn't like to be touched because it was common among witchers. Others, however, were more extreme. They spoke of how the witcher was unable to control his murderous urges, killing anyone the moment they laid a hand on him.

Neither of these were true.

Ever since he was a kid, Geralt knew he ruined everything he touched. He didn't suspect for it to one day come true. 

It all happened on a hunt, one of his first, that still haunts his nightmares. Geralt had met a kind man named Ailwin, he paid Geralt to take care of some drowners by his home. 

Geralt gladly accepted, expecting it to be an easy job. What he didn't expect was for the man to follow Geralt out to the nest, most likely wanting the thrill of seeing a witcher hunt up close. 

Ailwin, not heeding Geralt's protests and warning, became eviscerated within only moments of standing there. 

A deep pit of dread and guilt sat heavy in his stomach as he carried the man's body back to his family. When the woman saw sight of her husband's body, she wailed, screaming about how Geralt would get what's coming to him.

When word spread about a witcher killing an innocent man by the waterbed, Geralt left town before an angry crowd could chase him out. 

Apart from his nightmares, where he still hears the man's and his family's screams, he didn't think much of that day. That was until a few weeks later when he heard of a sorceress terrorizing a nearby town. 

_"Oh, how I so hoped it would be you." The sorceress laughed, "Geralt of Rivia."_

_He almost questioned how she knew his name, but he decided against it, "I'm not here to kill you. All you need to do is stop."_

_The sorceress laughed, "You really think it will be that easy? Maybe you thought you'd pay me off?"_

_Fuck, Geralt thought, realizing she clearly wasn't up for bargaining._

_"You took a father away from a child, Geralt, a husband away from a wife," She said, a smirk on her face, "And for that, witcher, you have to pay. I'll stop, but only at the cost of your well-being since you're a witcher. It's not like you necessarily have anyone to love you. "_

_Those words he has heard spoken over the years, but they never stopped sending a pang of hurt and disappointment through his chest. All witchers died alone, it was nothing new. And yet, here he was, wanting more from life._

_Before he could even move a muscle, he felt a searing pain shoot through his body._

_"Stop." He breathed out._

_She walked over to him, kicking him in the side. He fell over, grasping his stomach as there was a searing pain within it, overwelming all of his heightened witcher senses._

_"You and your kind are a disgrace to this earth."_

_He shut his eyes as his body felt as if it was being burned from the inside out. By the time he regained his strength, the sorceress was gone._

The sorceress was never seen or heard from again. Geralt asked around, wanting to find her and ask what she'd done, but he found nothing.

At first, he didn't think anything _did_ happen. Maybe it was just something to allow her to escape. It wasn't until one night that he was proven wrong. 

Geralt was in yet another small town, which, of course, did not take kindly to witchers. WHile he was in the local tavern, a man came up to him. 

_"Leave,"_ _The man spat,_ _"We don't want your kind here."_

_Ignoring him, Geralt took another sip out of his tankard._

_"I'm talking to you."_ _He made the mistake of swinging to punch Geralt._

_The witcher caught his fist before it could make contact. The man started choking, falling to the ground as he grabbed his throat. All the rest of the men in the tavern started yelling, some following in the other man's footsteps and moving to hit Geralt._

_Everytime, Geralt deflected the punches, and everytime, the man died, grabbing his throat in a desperate attempt for air. Geralt could hear the exact moment all their heart's stopped beating._

He'd of course tried going to other mages to lift the curse, but no one ever could. They all directed him to one woman, a Yennefer of Vengerberg, but he never did go to see her. It was a lost cause, he supposed. It became easy over the years, no one really wanted to touch a witcher unless absolutely necessary. Or at least that's what Geralt thought. 

Nothing, no one, was ever different for Geralt. That was until he met a bard who went by the name of Jaskier. 

Jaskier, to put it lightly, was difficult in every sense. The bard always managed to get into trouble wherever he went, whether it be sleeping with someones partner or getting into a fight in a tavern after someone insulted Geralt.

The latter Geralt still isn't used to. No one, besides the other witchers, have willingly stuck by him, so why did the bard?

Jaskier also never seemed to listen to Geralt's instructions. If it wasn't for his speed, the bard would've certainly managed to place a hand on him already.

His intentions were so much different than anyone else's, it seemed. Jaskier's touches never once were malicious, only caring. He'd rush to Geralt's side the moment the witcher walked into the inn after a hunt, checking to see if Geralt was severely injured.

He would bring his hands up to the witcher's face, daring to cup his face, but Geralt always avoided his touch before he got the chance. 

Jaskier always saw the best in people, especially Geralt. His songs showed that. They made him out to be some hero, a hero he was not. Slowly, and inevitably, he fell in love with the bard. 

It took him years to admit to himself, and he'd never say the words out loud. It would only scare him off. Jaskier might want to be friends or companions with a witcher, but having a witcher be in love with you is a whole different thing. People were already disgusted by the mere idea of witchers.

And so, Geralt kept up his emotionless facade. Jaskier, however, saw right through it at every opportunity. He knew Geralt so well, too well.

"What are you so busy brooding about again?" Jaskier asked, breaking Geralt from his thoughts, "You haven't even hummed once in disapproval of me singing Toss a Coin, and it's been the sixth time I've played it tonight."

"Hm," Geralt answered, "Didn't notice."

He held back a smirk as he heard the bard splutter, pointing a disapproving finger to him as he started ranting something about disrespect. 

Even though he'd never tell Jaskier, he cared deeply for him. If the other man knew that, though, he'd never stop talking about it. Geralt deep down feels remorse for not letting him know he cares, but witchers weren't supposed to have emotions. 

Geralt tried his best not to become attached, but Jaskier just had something about him, something that kept pulling Geralt in. 

"See? You're doing it again," Jaskier gestured a hand to Geralt, "Where's your mind going? Tell me."

His voice was riddled with concern, something Geralt was never used to.

"Nothing." 

Jaskier stood up, placing himself beside the witcher. He moved a hand to place on Geralt's knee, but Geralt moved, putting more space between himself and the bard. Jaskier took his hand back, sighing. 

"Why don't you let anyone touch you?" Jaskier asked softly.

"You're a bard." Geralt answered, avoiding eye contact with the other man, "You've heard what they say."

Jaskier shook his head, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, you kill anyone who lays a hand on you. I just might believe you if I didn't know you so well."

"You don't." Geralt disagreed. 

"Oh, oh really?" 

Geralt knew Jaskier was beginning to ramble. He's picked up on many of the bard's habits over the years, and readjusting the way he sat as he waved a hand around signaled that he was about to go off on a tangent.

"So I don't know how you secretly like the oils I put in your hair, especially the lavender and chamomile ones? Or how you secretly love it when I buy those tarts or honeycakes whenever we go to town?" Jaskier asked, not needing an answer, "I know you Geralt. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but I know you. You're not a monster like you think. To be quite honest, you're one of the best men I've ever met, my dear witcher."

 _You're not a monster like you think_ Jaskier's words echoed in his head. The bard thought too highly of hi. Geralt _was_ a monster, he knew it himself. There was no point in lying about it. But Jaskier sounded so sure, so genuine. Geralt almost believed the words himself. 

Jaskier sighed, standing up. Geralt pushed away the want to grab his wrist. He was so desperately craving that physical contact, but he could never have it. Even if he could, he wouldn't deserve it. 

"It was a sorceress."

The bard turned his head, sitting back down and maneuvering his body to face Geralt. His eyes were filled with curiosity and stared at Geralt with such an intensity that he would've shivered if he were human.

Taking the bard's silence as a sign, he continued, "She did something. Not sure, maybe a curse, but no one can ever touch me."

Jaskier hesitated, "But that doesn't answer why."

"If they do, they die." Geralt avoided the other man's eyes once again, afraid of what he might see. 

"What?" Jaskier asked while shaking his head, "What do you mean they'll die? They just, like, drop dead?"

"They've all seemed to choke." 

Jaskier took a deep breath, "How people has this happened to?"

 _Of course_ , Geralt thought. It was only a matter of time before Jaskier knew Geralt was nothing more than a murderer. Killing was what he was made to do, but he so badly wanted Jaskier's good opinion of him to stick.

"Geralt, you can tell me." Jaskier moved closer to Geralt, "I won't think any differently of you."

"I lost count," Geralt answered honestly, but the pang of guilt shot through him once more.

Jaskier slowly inched closer to Geralt. He flinched when the bard raised a hand to place on his face.

"Jaskier." He warned, leaning away from the touch he so desperately wanted.

"Do you trust me?" Jaskier asked quietly, sounding uncharacteristically hesitant and insecure.

Geralt remained silent. Of course he trusted the bard, why else would he let him travel with him all these years? He wasn't sure he's ever trusted any human more than he's trusted Jaskier. But humans are fragile, they age and die faster than he ever could, so he can't admit that. He can't admit he that he trusts, that he cares, that he _loves_.

Still not answering verbally, Geralt nods weakly. There's no point in lying anymore. Jaskier is going to leave him after tonight, and there's nothing Geralt can do to avoid that.

"Then allow me."

He wanted to so badly, but he couldn't. Geralt wasn't sure how he could live with himself if he were the reason for Jaskier's death. It would be the witcher's fault, no on else's.

Jaskier inched closer to Geralt. Although, this time, Geralt didn't move away. _Do you trust me?_ Jaskier's words played in his head once more. It was the only thing keeping him from moving away. 

The bard raised a hand to Geralt's face, but he didn't place it there. The delicate hand hovered over his cheek for a few moments, still giving Geralt an out if he so desperately needed. 

Slowly, Jaskier brought his hand down to Geralt's cheek. Geralt felt fear overwhelm him when he felt the contact. There was something else there, too. It was a calm, comforting warmth that overtook the fear, something he knows all too well when it comes to Jaskier. 

Geralt closed his eyes and let hmself just feel the warmth Jaskier's hand brought to his left cheek. A thumb slowly started stroking his cheek, reassuring him.

"I told you it would be okay, my dear witcher." Jaskier laughed lightly, "You don't have to be afraid anymore when it comes to me."

Geralt looked at him confused, "I don't understand."

"I'm not sure either, if I'm being honest." Jaskier took his hand away, and Geralt was already missing the contact, "I can't quite die?"

"Is that a question or a statement, bard?" Geralt held back a smirk.

Jaskier laughed, "Both? Melitele knows I should've died multiple times by now, being, y'know, me and all. I just never seem to actually finish the deed."

"How many times has this happened?" Geralt asked.

He's heard of so many curses, yet he's not sure he's ever heard of someone not being able to die. It does make sense, he supposes. The bard never did seem to age either.

"Hard to say," Jaskier shrugged, "One stops keeping count after a while."

Geralt answered in a hum.

"Oh, no, no, we are not going back to that." Jaskier shook his head, "I liked it better when you were talking, not just humming and grunting to communicate."

Geralt took his eyes off the bard, looking back to the fire. It was easier this way, he didn't have to see Jaskier's disgusted face when he spoke.

"I," Geralt hesitated, "I miss it."

"What?" After a moment with no reply, Jaskier spoke again, "Geralt, miss what?"

"Your hand," He answered, "It felt nice, warm even."

Jaskier raised his hand back to Geralt's face, placing it on his left cheek once more and turning his face to face Jaskier's. The witcher immediately leaned into the touch.

"Better?" 

Geralt nodded lightly, not trusting his words. Witchers weren't supposed to feel, and they certainly were not supposed to want. He shouldn't want the softer luxuries in life such as love, he didn't deserve them. 

"You're thinking too loud, Geralt." He leaned over and rested his forehead against Geralt's silencing their thoughts.

With his free hand, Jaskier grabbed Geralt's. He slowly raised it to Jaskier's cheek, placing it there softly. It was a lot. In fact, it should've been too much, but it wasn't. It wasn't even enough for Geralt. 

Even before this, no one wanted to touch Geralt in such soft ways, but Jaskier always was different. 

With a surge of courage, Geralt leaned closer, pulling Jaskier's face closer to his. He waited a moment to allow the other man to back away, but he didn't. Geralt pulled him closer, softly pressing their lips together.

After a moment, they broke apart. Geralt began to panic, feeling like he's done the wrong thing. What if Jaskier hates him now? What if he's disgusted?

Breaking his train of thought, Jaskier pulls him in again, connecting their lips once more. Geralt felt himself smile into the kiss as the familiar warmth spread through his chest.

Pulling back and resting their foreheads together, Jaskier smiled brightly. 

"I have to say, that was a pleasant surprise tonight." Jaskier laughed, but this time, Geralt laughed back. "Come on, we better actually find something to eat tonight."

"We?" Geralt asked.

The other man waved a hand at him, "Yeah, yeah, you. If _you_ don't, then I won't hesitate to complain tomorrow."

"You never do." Geralt's words held no venom, a smile resting on his face.

Geralt realized then that they didn't need to talk of what happened right that second. For now, they could just _be_. For once, Geralt feels happy and content, but more importantly, loved.

**Author's Note:**

> phew!! i haven't written in so long, so apologies if this is a bit rough!! i've been working on it for a while and hopefully move past this writers block. 
> 
> i hope everyone enjoyed though!! this takes place way before he meets yennefer (canon? what's canon? idk her.) and was kind of inspired by a show called pushing daisies. it's really good and i highly recommend it.
> 
> comments/kudos are appreciated as always!!
> 
> p.s. i hope everyone's having or will have a good day :) <3


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